


Something I Need

by paperairplanesopenwindows



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Elifquest inspired but not actually in the Elfquest universe, F/M, Female Friendship, Yes I am Big Nerd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:28:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24222088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperairplanesopenwindows/pseuds/paperairplanesopenwindows
Summary: “And if you’re worried about SHIELD doing anything,” Maria cut in, “they don’t have any policies against people who-”Natasha’s stomach flipped. “Oh God, please don’t say it.”“—Recognize each other,” Maria said.“Ugh,” Natasha said.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 13
Kudos: 48
Collections: be_compromised Remix Exchange 2020





	Something I Need

**Author's Note:**

  * For [geckoholic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/geckoholic/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Stay Away From The Sun](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5563324) by [geckoholic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/geckoholic/pseuds/geckoholic). 



> This is inspired by geckoholic’s fic [Stay Away from the Sun](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5563324), which is a soulmate au fic where Natasha and Clint dream of each other before they meet. The fic is summary is “They stand and stare at each other from across the room, and they know, recognition bouncing between them like a stray bullet,” and my nerd brain went “Oh yeah, recognition. What Elfquest uses!” 
> 
> So, uh, this is a soulmate au fic where the soulmate system is inspired by how soulmates work in the long running comic Elfquest (I say inspired because Clint and Natasha are still human in this and it’s MCU canonish). You can read more information about Elfquest and Recognition [here](https://elfquest.fandom.com/wiki/Elves), but the tl;dr is “an overwhelming, undeniable mating urge that occurs when two compatible people meet eyes.” If you don’t give into it, you sicken and can die. While connected by someone via Recognition, you know their soulname, which comprises the essence of their self. With this, a couple can form a psychic, empathetic bond with each other. 
> 
> Geckoholic, I hope you enjoy this (I know it might not be your thing)! Thanks to [kiss_me_cassie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiss_me_cassie) and [why_didnt_i_get_any_soup](https://archiveofourown.org/users/why_didnt_i_get_any_soup) for the help as always!

“You look like shit,” Maria told Natasha bluntly as she sat across from her at the dining hall table. Natasha startled a little at her suddenness and that made Maria’s frown deepen. “Seriously,” she said, “I shouldn’t be able to startle you. What the hell?” 

Natasha let one of her shoulders rise and fall in response as Sharon sat next to Maria, giving her a reproachful look. “We said we’d handle this gently,” she hissed. 

Maria tossed her hands towards Natasha. “Look at her. She looks pathetic.” 

Natasha thought about snarling some harsh words at them, but didn’t have the energy. She settled for a glare. The two agents had been some of the few courageous enough to approach Natasha after she’d been brought in, and they’d become something like friends, though that didn’t give Maria permission to heckle her. 

Sharon frowned. “When was the last time you ate?” 

“I’m not hungry,” Natasha said. 

“Ok,” Sharon said. She slid a heavily laden tray across the table until it was in front of Natasha. “You need to eat  _ something _ . Psych’s starting to wonder if you’re going on a hunger strike.” 

“I’m not,” Natasha said, before she began to pick at the bread roll on the plate that was now in front of her. That got her a tentative smile from Sharon. “You can tell them I’m not hunger striking,” Natasha said, “And seriously, there’s no need for the good cop/bad cop routine.” 

Maria huffed and rolled her eyes in frustration. 

“Don’t pretend that’s not what you’re doing,” Natasha said.

“No, it’s totally what we’re doing,” Maria said, “but it’s not because we think you’re hunger striking. Clint’s not eating either.” 

Natasha shoved the entire dinner roll into her mouth. 

“Subtle,” Sharon said. 

“Does Natasha look like someone who’ll respond to subtle?” Maria countered. 

_ I’m right here! _ Natasha wanted to scream, but she couldn’t speak around the mouthful of dinner roll. 

“Look,” Sharon said, “Barton’s a good person if that’s what you’re worried about. I mean, he’s an idiot, but he’s not going to treat you like shit. He and his ex-wife get along still, for the most part.” 

“I know he’s a good person,” Natasha muttered. 

“And if you’re worried about SHIELD doing anything,” Maria cut in, “they don’t have any policies against people who-” 

Natasha’s stomach flipped. “Oh God, please don’t say it.” 

“—Recognize each other,” Maria said. 

“Ugh,” Natasha said. Maria and Sharon looked at her with differing levels of pity. Natasha put her head in her hands. “This wasn’t supposed to happen. The Red Room tried to make sure that we’d never Recognize anyone. And then...well.” She went back to picking at the plate of food in front of her. 

“Maybe you slipped through the cracks somehow,” Maria suggested. 

“Maybe,” Natasha said bitterly, scowling down at the tray. 

Sharon tilted her head. “What I’m wondering is why it took so long for this to start affecting you? He brought you in  _ months _ ago.”

“I don’t know. Our eyes didn’t meet? He was wearing shades, I stared at his eyebrows for most of the conversation, and then he knocked me out. And I didn’t see him after that.” 

“Hmm,” Maria said. 

“And then a week ago we saw each other in the hallway and he came up all smiles and ‘How’s it going, Widow?’ and then,” Natasha gestured violently, “Ugh!” 

“Soul met soul when eyes met eyes?” Sharon asked with a wry smile. 

Natasha tossed her hands up in frustration. “I guess?” 

“Have you talked to him since?” 

Natasha looked at her like she was crazy. “No!” 

“Everytime they see each other in the hallway they turn the other way and run,” Maria said. “People are starting to notice.”

“I don’t  _ run away _ ,” Natasha snapped.

“Fine. You power walk in the opposite direction whenever you even think you see Clint.”

The statement wasn’t entirely untrue, so Natash kept her mouth shut. 

Maria sighed. “Well, you’re going to have to figure something out before you two make yourselves sick.”

Sharon looked at her reproachfully. “Very helpful, Maria.” 

“I’m just saying, we all know how this goes. Either you fuck it out of your system or you get sick. And once it’s over you don’t ever have to talk to him again.” 

Sharon gave Natasha an apologetic look. “She’s not wrong.” 

Natasha pushed the tray of food away from her, no longer wanting to try to eat. “Thanks for the advice,” she muttered. “I’ll figure it out.” 

Seeming to take it as their cue, the other two women stood up, Sharon patting Natasha’s hand comfortingly as she went. 

She tossed what was left of the tray out and headed out of the dining hall, towards her room. The hallway was thankfully deserted. That is until Clint turned a corner and was right in her path. 

“Oh,” he said, flailing as he came to a sudden stop, “Hi.” 

Natasha opened and then closed her mouth. “Hi,” she echoed. Up close he looked just as bad as she felt, gaunter than he’d looked a week ago and bags under his eyes. “How have you been?” she asked, then winced. It was obvious he had been doing about as well as she had. 

He gave a little smile, seeming to recognize that. “Terrible,” he said, “which I assume you’ve been too.” 

She gave a little shrug. Clint licked his lips. “Just so you know,” he said, “I’m not avoiding you. I mean, I am kinda, but it’s just because--”

“Being close makes it worse, yeah,” she finished for him. 

She already had his soul name whispering constantly in the back of her head, in this close proximity it just became louder. She crossed her arms over her chest.

Clint nodded in agreement. “I tried taking a mission to get me off base, but well.” His lips twisted sardonically. “They wouldn’t let me leave in the ‘state I’m in.’” He used his fingers as quotations around the words and Natasha laughed a little before she could help herself. 

“You tried to take a mission?” 

Clint shrugged. “Thought it might be best to get off base, give you a little breathing room.” 

“Oh,” Natasha said, surprised, “You don’t have to do that.” 

Clint shrugged again. “Didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” 

She studied him. He was handsome, charming when he wanted to be, clearly cared at least a little about her. The Recognition was clearly wrecking him as well, but still he’d thought of her and her comfort first before his needs. Maybe they could come to some sort of understanding, eradicate this tension between them and come out on the other side stronger. 

She cleared her throat. “I guess we should talk?”

“Uh, isn’t that what we’re doing?” Clint asked, confused. 

“Well, yes,” Natasha said, “But not here, in my room.” 

“ _ Oh _ . Ok.” Clint suddenly looked very nervous. “Lead the way.” 

“Ok,” Natasha echoed and she led him towards whatever fate had in store for them. 

  
  


The awkwardness didn’t end once they entered her room. Neither of them seemed to know where to look. Clint gazed around the space, which was still the SHIELD standard since she hadn’t taken the time to customize it. “Nice room,” he said.

She snorted. “It looks like a hotel room and you know it.” 

He chuckled a little. “Yeah, it does.” There wasn’t anywhere to sit really beside the bed and she watched him make the conscious decision to remain standing, so she did the same. 

There was silence for a long moment. 

“I thought.” She stopped, then began again. “The Red Room said they’d taken away our ability to Recognize. That we wouldn’t have a soul name,” she said finally. “So imagine my shock when I could suddenly sense yours.” 

Clint’s hand clenched and unclenched at his side. “Oh,” he said. “Yeah. That’d freak a person out.” 

Natasha snorted. “Understatement,” she said. 

They were both quiet again. Finally, Natasha asked “What do you want to do?” 

Clint looked at her curiously. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” 

Natasha shrugged. “You’re just as affected by this as I am.” 

“Oh. Well.” He didn’t seem to know what to say. “I mean, we don’t have to decide  _ now _ .”

She frowned. “Still need to figure it out soon.” 

“I just--I don’t want you to feel like I’m forcing you to do anything,” he said quietly, looking away from her. He ran his hand nervously over his head. 

“You’re not forcing me to do anything.” He looked back at Natasha, surprise on his face. She gave him a tentative smile. “I don’t like the circumstances, but I do like you. And I wouldn’t mind seeing where this goes.” 

Clint smiled widely back at her. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” Natasha moved closer to him and gently kissed him on the cheek. The connection between the two of them flared and they both inhaled sharply. 

“Eira,” Clint said, as he reached up to cup her cheek. Natasha felt her eyes begin to fill with tears and she hurriedly blinked them back. 

“Ronin,” she said in answer, feeling the connection between them cement. She reached for Clint and he swept her into his arms to kiss her for real.

**Author's Note:**

> Natasha's soul name "Eira" means snow. 
> 
> I used Ronin for Clint because I'm lazy lol. 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr at paperairplanesopenwindows!


End file.
